For Eternity
by maureen.belle
Summary: After all the mess Xena caused sleeping with Hercules , she decides to go back to her home . Both Xena and Ares cope with agonizing pain for having to take seperate ways ... But fates have way different plans for them . Read and find out .
1. Unhealing Wounds

It´s been seven whole days ... Seven whole days ...

I remember that I couldn´t stand a minute without him and now , here I am , testing my own limits , breaking my own heart into pieces , bleeding to death ... willingly

I always try to distract myself . Whatever that means . But it doen´t work . The pain is always there , 24/7 . Nobody can free me from this ordeal because I am doomed into pain and suffer ... I deserve it that way ...

I still wonder how on Earth did I gathered this supernatural courage of walking away from him .

I still check from time to time , to make sure , that my heart remains in my chest or there is a dark emptiness instead ... to find out that ... no ... it´s not there ... it never was . At least not from the day I met him . He has taken everything . He unburied all those emotions I was desperately trying to keep deep down into the depths of my soul . Burn them down if possible . He brought them back on the surface with a single touch of his ... just like that ...

So , I ended up being where I was in the first place . Before all this mess happened .

My home ...

Actually I don´t feel like calling home a bunch of buildings ...

For me home meant being in his arms ...

But wait , no , I am not going to fall for this . Where is all of my pride now that I need it the most ?

Milking cows doen´t seem lame any more . It feels more like having something useful to do without being a murderer . I´ve missed those peaceful days , when the birds would fly carelessly on the Summer breeze , singing an audioful song ... When the waters of the river would run gently , trying to get nowhere ... just running ...

I stare up in the sky . All I see is what it takes to make this agonizing pain calm down just for split second , allowing me to breathe a relieved long breath after holding it for what it seemed like an eternity ...

I let my thoughts rest on the serene surface of the sun ... And that was when I felt it ... This searing warmness hotter than any kind of burning flesh I´ve ever felt ... Hotter than the torrid pain in my chest ...

And when I turn in the way this sweet warmness comes from , I see it ...

" Aphrodite ? " ...


	2. Why ?

" Aphrodite ? " ...

My heart jumped out of my chest the moment I noticed that this wasn´t the regular Aphrodite .

This was far from being Aphrodite ...

She was wearing a black long dress and had all her body covered in a stream of sadness and grief

Grief ? ...

I looked deep into her eyes and what I found there was a terrifying blank .

My mind had started to play a series of many reasons why she was all torn down

All of them leading to one ...

My thoughts were stopped in the middle the moment I heard her shattered velvet voice ...

She spoke in such a quite way that I barely heard what she said .

" Why Xena , please tell me why ? "

I was speechless ...

Though I knew what she was talking about ...

" I don´t understand , Xena . I really don´t . We were always there for you . HE was always there for you . Holding you in his arms all those sleepless nights , when you couldn´t sleep , because of your painful memories . This is how you thank us , this how you thank HIM !? "

Her voice was full of rage now

I lowered my head till the only thing I could see was my bare feet

She just stood there , her tears were running down her cheeks like rain drops , her hands were folded around her waist , she looked like a lost , helpless child ...

As for me ...

My soul was already ripped into tiny littly pieces seven days ago ...

I was dead inside ... Dead ...

Clouds had started to replace the brightful sun , making it more diffucult to cope with all this dirty mess that I had no idea how I got into in the first place ...

I didn´t dare to raise my head , I prefered to hide in the shadows , instead

Several minutes passed . Silence was filling every corner of the room .

" I wanted to run away from all those emotions he had planted inside of me . I wanted to prove to my self that I didn´t need him or love him . I wanted to return to everything he banished me from ... "

I finally spoke . I needed to get this out of my chest . I couldn´t hold it anymore . I couldn´t sleep , I couldn´t eat or drink , I couldn´t breathe , GODS I couldn´t live without HIM !

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The desire of screaming until it hurted , until my lungs started to bleed was more tempting than ever . I really curse myself for falling in love with HIM .

For falling into his little trap called love ...

For tangling into his cobweb ...

She was just staring at the sallow sky .

I did the same .

Night had fallen . We were still in the same position . Stuck in the darkness . Drowning in the storm of thoughts .

When she finally looked back at me , I felt invisible .

So much disgust in her gaze , it made me swallow hard .

I´ve never seen her like this . What hurted the most was that I was the one responsible ...

For all this mess .

She turned around , obviously ready to leave

" Aphrodite , wait ! "

She stopped but didn´t turn around

" Is ... is ... he alright ? "

My insecurities took the best of me and despite myself I let a single tear to roll down on my face

She didn´t answer , though , she just left in a trace of nothingness ...


	3. Roller Coaster

I materialized in the Halls of War , where I knew Ares would sit emotionless on his throne staring into nothingness . Unfortunately , I was right .

I didn´t say a word , I simply sat on the velvet , cold , black couch , facing him . Days like any other days I would make childish comments on how his exasperating taste of decorating was pissing me off but today I felt more like throwing up than making fun around .

" She has gone back to her home " I whispered under my breath , scared of how he might react to the reference of her name .

He didn´t even flinch a muscle . His cold , dark mask never leaving its place on his flawless visage .

I knew far better than saying more so I allowed the silence to rise .

" She can as well go and fuck all the customers of the tavern , for all I care " he murmured .

I was aware of the ordeal he was in , the cross he was carrying on his back ...

" Maybe you should try to move on "

I couldn´t believe the words I had just uttered , especially to whom I had uttered those words . We all know that Ares giving up on Xena is like someone deciding to survive without food and water . Impossible .

I gathered the courage I needed , though , to look back on his way , just to anticipate the punch I was sure , was going to follow , to find out that agonizing , unchecked tears were now flowing on his face , uncontrollably .

" If this is what makes her happy ... " he said between sobs .

I hardly swallowed his last words , did he actually said that or was my mind playing tricks with my restless soul ?

" Do you really believe that this is what makes her happy ? " I asked him , trying to deal with what was happening .

A sudden , heavy silence bathed the air . A deafening silence . I held my breath and bit my lips so hard that I felt the blood dripping down on my chin

" Yes " ... he finally stated with a determine look on his face .

" It´s far from over . There´s no turning back . We meant nothing to her , I meant nothing to her , end of story " .

And with that he was gone in a flash of blue sparkles .

( Thank you for your reviews , guys ! I am really grateful that people read my stories :) )


	4. Blast

Cyrene entered the room , she went to the windows and opened them wide . A warm , fresh breeze incircled the place . Then , she looked at her beautiful daughter . She looked like a Princess that had come out of a fairytale . Her long , dark hair hanging aimlessly on the edges of the wooden bed .

She made her way over and sat next to her daughter´s sleeping form .

Stroking her silky , soft hair , she remembered the times when Xena would fight with her because her mother would obligate her to wash the dishes or do the laundry .

An affectionate smile escaped from Cyrene´s lips .

It was a wonderful feeling to have her beloved one back ...

But she was so sad ...

It was breaking her heart to see her like this .

Xena was starting to wake up .

" Sorry sweetie , I didn´t mean to wake you up . "

" It´s ok , mom . I´ve been asleep for like forever . It was time for me to wake up . " Xena composed with a melancholic smile on her face .

" Are you feeling better , today ? " Cyrene asked in a concern tone .

" Much better , thank you mom " Xena informed her overprotective mother .

It didn´t bother her anymore , though . She appreciated the fact that she had such an important person to stand by her side , now that she was all torn down .

While cleaning the sheets at this morning , Cyrene found a black rose lying on the top of Xena´s bed . Fortunately she didn´t notice it was there , so Cyrene got the change to throw it away .

Now that she had her daughter back she wouldn´t let anyone and anything take her again .

The day ran slowly .

" Nothing special on this day , as well " Xena thought .

She let a long sigh and continued preparing dinner .

She was thinking about HIM all those days , all those nights ...

" I swear I felt his presence while sleeping , damn it " she couldn´t help wondering all day long .

When would she be able to free herself from this torture ? ...

**He couldn´t resist the temptation . **

**The thought alone of being just inches away from her and not being able to touch her was ripping his guts . **

**However , staying away from her for a whole week was like an unwilling visit to Tartarus . **

**He made his best efforts to keep himself from passing out ... **

**" You have no idea what you´re doing to me , baby " he whispered as gently and smoothly as he ever could . **

**He stroked her raven , delicate hair and left a black , velvet rose along with his heart and soul before leaving . **

**A destructive , gloom Abyss ****unrolled in front of his face . **

**It was beyond what he could take ... **

**xxx **

**" So , what are you going to do now ? " Cyrene asked her while she and Xena were having their dinner . **

**Xena didn´t know pretty much what she was going to do with her life now . She was just waiting for life to take her whatever it wanted . **

**She was done fighting anymore , that was far from obvious . **

**" I am not sure " Xena voiced with a bored tone . **

**" Sweetheart , you´ve been like this for like a week " **

**" What do you mean " like this " ? " **

**" Oh , you know what I mean . You hardly wake up in the morning , when you were actually the first to get up , remember ? Plus you have lost so many weight in a week that even the world´s most thinnest models would be jealous . " **

**" Look mom , I don´t need to take that from you right now . I am not feeling well at all so do not start any kind of fight , please " **

**" You must look after yourself and this whole thing with Ares is not going to help you . You gotta get over it . " Cyrene continued ignoring what Xena had just said .**

**" I thought I told you not to mention his name " Xena´s voice was starting to get angrier and angrier . **

**" In order to get over this you have to actually go through this. How are you supposed to heal those wounds if you keep running away from them , huh ? " **

**That was it . Xena knew very well what she had to expect . And that night wasn´t any different . **

**" You seem like an 90 year old woman Xena . You walk with your head stuck on the floor . Your eyes have circles as dark as nightfall . You don´t bathe . You don´t change your clothes . Gods , Xena ! I swear that if I ever see HIM , I will kill him with my own bare hands , God or not , I could careless about what on Earth his is " **

**" Stooooooooooop ! " By that time Xena had gone insane . She started screaming like a maniac , tipping the table over . **

**She stormed into her room and shut the door angrily . **

**Then , went straight into the warmness of her bed , laid there and started crying painfully . **

**It wasn****´t his fault .**

**She went off sleeping with Hercules not him . **

**She bit the pillow so toughly it had to hurt . **

**Between sobs and pants she finally fell asleep . **

**( I apologise for the slow rhythm of the story . I am just new to this whole fiction thing . But keep reading , things are going to get interesting ) **


	5. A New Dawn

_It´s when _

_I feel you ,_

_look at you ,_

_or think about you ,_

_that I find myself _

_no longer able to breathe . _

_But I know I´ll be just fine -_

_because the only thing_

_I need to inhale _

_Is you . _

_You always hurt the people you love , Xena . You always did . Back when Lyseus died all you did was to walk away from what was happening , from those who needed you more than ever , just because you couldn´t stand the guilt . You abandoned the man that was willing to bring the sky down to the Earth for you just because you couldn´t explain his darkness . Well , are you happy now ? _

Xena kept on tossing and turning all night long . She wasn´t able to sleep for a while now . The gigantic hole inside her chest wouldn´t allow her to do things properly anymore .

Not that there was much life to live from now on ...

When she took the decision of walking away from HIM , she was sure of what to expect . The unbearable hurt that would follow - but she ingored it .

Right now , she was paying the price ...

Suddenly , she felt a torturously addictive warmth spread all over her body , creep through her veins and reach her anguished heart , which was now pounding in an animalistic tempo . Her head was turning and when she opened her eyes all she could see was million , shiny stars wriggling around .

As the dizziness started to fade , she inhaled a deep breath after holding it for dear life . Her eyes widened in surprise and pure bliss the moment she located his demonic charming perfume . His presence filling the big black hole with sunlight . Dawn was born inside of her .

It was HIM ...

Like a little girl who have found her beloved father , she babyishly reached out to touch his perfectly framed features .

He looked as cute as a newborn puppy , eager to play with anybody .

Gods , she missed him so much ...

" You came ... " she whispered gently , a colossal smile painted on her face , reaching her ears .

" You called me , Princess . How could I resist "

He bent down to kiss her deeply and lovingly . Then plant thousand little kisses all over her face .

Tears were now rolling on Xena´s countenance . He osculate them away and then looked deep into her blue eyes .

" I can´t do that Xena . I can´t live without you . There´s no way for me to survive without having you to guide me . " he uncovered , extinguishing any trace of his pride and ego .

There was no room for those any longer . He didn´t even give a flying care , though .

" You won´t have to ... "


	6. Happy Ending

" What should we name her ? " The 18 year old Gabrielle asked looking down at the baby , Xena was holding in her arms lovingly .

" Whatever you decide is ok with me " Ares couldn´t help hiding his excitement . He was happy more than happiness could have ever describe itself .

" Come on , it wouldn´t be fair . You are her father after all . " Xena let a long laugh escape her lips . She finally got the man of her life back and now she was holding their seed of unconditional love in her hands .

A lot of things had changed since Ares showed up that night . First off , she got pregnant , which was a huge strike . Now that everything was about to become more compicated Xena felt safer than ever . Being protectively settled in his arms , was like Heaven on Earth . Her mother was a challenge as well . But in the end , she undertood that Ares meant a lot to her and she wouldn´t let him go away . Also , a new dear friend appeared in Xena´s life , Gabrielle . She was in her late teens , kind , warm - hearted , innocent and just like Ares always says , irritating - in a good way , of course - .

" I think we should name her Cyrene " Xena finally suggested shifting her gaze up on her mother .

Cyrene almost teared up .

" Oh , sweetie , I can´t believe it . My baby has a baby of her own , now . "

They were acting like crazy .

This baby was what they all needed after what they´ve been through .

Xena and Ares were more in love and happy than ever .

With their little child bonding them together , there was nothing and nobody , who could seperate them ... anymore ...

( So guys , that was it ! Hope you enjoyed . Leave your reviews if you wish . Have A Happy Solstice :D )


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